Near
by TrueHeroOfTime
Summary: 'Do you know? Every single living breath you don't take, is slowly and silently killing me' Sort of a relation to my other story, Matt


**A/N: Ok, so this is what happened.**

**I was sitting there, finishing off the last of my last story 'Matt', and then, as I finished, I suddenly felt like writing a similar story for Near and Mello, so I did. Not very exciting.**

**Title: **Near

**Summary:** 'Do you know? Every single living breath you don't take, is slowly and silently killing me'

**Pairings: **None really. It mentions a sort of relationship betweenNear and Mello.

**Rating: **ouch. I bit my tongue

**Spoilers:** BWAHAHAHAHAHA… Mello died :p

**Warnings: **nuthin', actually.

Near never liked Lidner.

It was so true, that you could even say that he hated her.

But, at some point in his life, Near had needed her, and now that she was leaving, and he was alone, he felt glad that he would no longer have to deal with her.

"Goodnight Near."

Lidner's voice was nothing but muffled noise as the boy she had spoken to waved his hand over his shoulder in a gesture of farewell. He was surrounded by a stack of building blocks on the cold floor, his finger caught in the silky strands of his snow-white hair.

The blonde stared at the back of his head sadly, before hitching her shoulder bag up and exiting from the room where her car waited for her in the lot.

As the door slid shut, he let a breathy sigh leave his lips and untangled his fingers from his hair. They were pale and shaking uncontrollably; he was now alone, but he felt no comfort.

The fact that she had left, and probably would not return, meant, to him, that something had changed.

By the time the clock's small hand reached twelve, the little water-colored blocks in front of him had only reached four stacks high. Near couldn't find it in him to calm himself down and be still. Every time he went to place a block on top, he would loose his concentration and knock down his little tower of wood. It made uprising tears sting his throat.

That had never happened before, and it had all been because of her.

Because she had left.

And if she had left, that meant only one thing.

He was no longer here.

'He' was what made Near's mind tick twenty-four/seven. It was 'He' that made Near calm. It was 'He' that made Near able to think. It was 'He' that made Near feel safe.

Not this building. Not these walls. Not the police. Not the members of the SPK. Not his little toy action figures. And definitely not the thought that Kira no longer existed.

The only thing that made Near feel 'safe', was Mello.

When Near was seven, and he had first arrived at Wammy's House, orphanage for gifted children, he did not expect to feel safe. He did not expect to make friends. He did not expect to succeed. And he definitely did not expect to rely on anyone or anything that wasn't his mother and father.

Near should have known. He was stupid not to have figured it out. His first year at Wammy's had been boring and tiring, but he couldn't have, back then, helped but smile at the thought that he was doing well in his studies.

Near was never really big on making friends. He really just chose to rely on himself, knowing that he could never let himself down. But, there was only really one person brave enough, from the start, to befriend him.

That person had been a troublesome, blue-eyed, blond boy, named Mello.

And that boy had managed to catch Near's attention the first second that a quick and awkward 'hi' had fallen from his lips.

Near didn't even know why.

Perhaps it was the way he would chew on the end of his pencil and frown slightly whenever he was having trouble figuring something out. Perhaps it was the way his hair always caught the rising sun, or the rising moon. Perhaps it was the way his breath always smelled so sweet, whenever he would lean over to help Near with a math problem. Or they way their knees would brush accidentally underneath the table. Or perhaps it was the simple fact that Mello was just… Mello. One of a kind. He really didn't know what it was. He liked Mello.

But, the truth was, Near would never use the word 'friends'. To use that word; to call Mello Near's 'friend', meant that Near would have to break his one and only rule. And he refused to do that for anyone. Even as gorgeous as Near thought Mello was.

But at some point, and maybe it took Near a little too long to realize, things started to changed entirely.

It didn't start the first week that Near and Mello had meet. It didn't even start the first year that Near had spent at Wammy's. Perhaps it was a couple of months after Near had surpassed Mello that he started to notice it. The teasing, the glares, the pushing and shoving and bullying. And that was why Near was glad that he kept to his only rule and refused to befriend Mello. That was why.

And Mello wasn't the only one. The blond's best friend, Matt, who Near had never really met, began shooting him glares when they passed in the corridors or in the classroom.

Near didn't know what to think, but, even so, the strangest of thoughts began seeping into his mind.

'Is he someone I can trust?'

The answer, probably to anyone else, was definitely a no. Mello was unstable, unpredictable and uncontrollable and his hatred for Near only intensified that.

But that thought, as silly as it was, was what made Near feel safe.

It was the fact that ninety-nine percent of Mello's attention, was on Near. It was the fact that Mello burned so bright with hatred and dislike for Near that some could almost call it possessive. Even after growing up somewhat, that was how Mello was.

That was, as strange as it sounded, what made Near love, and feel safe around him. The fact that Mello's attention was always glued to him, and hardly anyone else.

'Do you know? Every single living breath you don't take, is slowly and silently killing me'

Do you know how much I hate you for that?

Do you know how much I care for you? How much I felt so sure that I had to protect you?

Did you know any of that?

I bet you didn't. I bet you didn't even care.

Is that why you let yourself fall into such an amateur trap? Is that why you let yourself die?

Near had been so lost for words when a sobbing Lidner had told him the news.

He had felt so lost.

Even after he received a package a week later, covered in Mello's messy scrawl, Near had been lost for words.

It was the picture. The picture of Mello with that coy little smile that he had even pointed a gun at Near over.

Dear Mello.

And underneath that, only Mello's neat handwriting.

Dear Near.

That whole entire night, not once did the tears stop falling from his eyes. Instead, they fell down his face like a waterfall. And he hated himself to no end on the fact that he had given himself the responsibility of protecting Mello, and he had failed.

In a way, though, Near felt he had gained some victory in this. Kira was gone.

But Near had not done it for his own satisfaction. He had not done it for the SPK or the police, or even society.

He had done it because, from the very start, getting rid of Kira, was Mello's dream as well.

And as he sat there, surrounded by his blocks, staring up at the clock, he could not help but recall Lidner's last words.

Goodnight Near.

And it hadn't been from Lidner. When those words had hit Near's ears, the only voice that he could hear was Mello's

And Near was so sure, that, as if carried by the wind, those words had been Mello's last as he waited for his last breath, and the blond's last thoughts had been of his biggest enemy and true love…

Near.

**End note: I'm sad, this is so shit.**

**Thanks for reading anyway. Does any one actually read the author's notes? I do.**

**Please review, I need some of those.**

Death Note © Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata.

This story © Me.


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